Asian A Day Vol:2 Issue:1 “The Christmas Edition!”

Konnichiwa Asian A Day readers and a special seasons greetings to you all! This special Christmas issue is to of course celebrate the holiest day of the year…the day Santa Clause was born. We have a super special issue lined up with you full of Asian honeys, exclusive interviews and lots and lots of Asian facts! PLUS….we have a sizzling selection of the  hottest Asian Santas! Let’s get on with the issue!

This issue we have an exclusive interview with Asian hotty Tina Yuzuki! Tina has been at the top of the Japanese modelling A-list for many years now and finally, Asian A Day has managed to get a one on one interview with the Japanese beauty…

Konnichiwa Tina Yuzuki sama! Merry Christmas to you! How have you been?

Konnichiwa Asian A Day and Merry Christmas to you and your lovely Asian loving readers! I have been well arigatou, after the terrible Eskimo incident it took some time for me to get back on my feet…but I am much better now.

Woah now…what was this Eskimo incident?! Tell Asian A Day all about it!

In 1969 my father was employed by the Alaskan government to eradicate some of the ever populating Eskimos. My father would hunt and murder Eskimo families to try to kill them before they could reproduce. However, Eskimos are not easy to kill. They are cunning and intelligent. The only way to kill them is by sneaking up on them, knocking them unconscious and then skinning them alive. With out their skin they would freeze in the harsh Alaskan weather. My father would keep and preserve every layer of skin which he took from his victims and when I was born he passed down to me 250 Eskimo skins.

Now that is a lot of skin! So where does the incident come into the equation?

Well when I was 16, I was very poor. I had no education so I turned to stealing but I needed a disguise. I racked my brain and I finally came up with the perfect disguise…it was staring me in the face…my fathers skin collection. I tried on an Eskimo skin for size and it fitted perfectly. I evaded the police for months. They were confused with the Eskimo finger prints I was leaving behind. I finally had to give up my career as a thief when one night I broke into a convenience store and ate so many Cadbury’s Cream Eggs and Monster Munch that I couldn’t take off my Eskimo skin! Finally I had a friend cut me out of the layer with a Stanley knife and I vowed never to steal again.

Wow that truly is an amazing story. What did your father think of you using his skin collection to steal with?

Unfortunately my father is not around anymore. He moved to America when I was younger to fulfill his life long ambition of holding the world record for eating the most Jelly Babies. Unknown to him, it is a scientific fact that if you eat over 600 black Jelly Babies…you become one. He now lives his life as a giant 6ft tall, 18 stone blackcurrant flavoured Jelly Baby and spends his days in a log cabin somewhere in Canada.

Well at least he’ll never go hungry! Too soon? It’s too soon. Well that’s all we have time for today Tina but domo arigatou for taking the time to talk to us…sayounara!

Youth In Asia! Zang!

This segment of our all Asian newsletter sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. Where are they now? What have they been up to? Asian A Day finds out the answers to these burning questions. This issue we catch up with Brandon Soo Hoo who played Tran, the child leader of the Flaming Dragons in Tropic Thunder! Brandon not only acted in Tropic Thunder but he also had invested stocks which sky rocketed after the movie did so well at the box office. Now Brandon is one of the wealthiest child actors in Hollywood, and what did he decide to do with his millions? Well he now lives in one of LA’s largest mansions…but it is built entirely out Ferrero Rocher. The chocolate is not only delicious but also acts as an amazing insulation system in the winter! Zang!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This addition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. Who do we have this issue? Well let’s find out! Behind door number one we have….a satsuma! Behind door number two we have….Barry McGuigan! And finally behind door number 3, we have….Oh my God! It’s Bai Ling who played Li Lei in Entourage season 2, episode 6! Get your hot Asian behind in my cage and let me poke you till you become even hotter!

Bai Ling Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Bai Ling was born in China in 1966! ZANG!
2. Bai Ling enjoys the smell of a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle…but not the taste. ZANG!
3. Bai Ling is the Stig. ZANG!
4. Bai Ling once had so many friends on facebook…that the internet itself, crashed! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Bai Ling once had a staring contest with someone and she stared so hard that her opponents head actually turned into a Jaffa Cake! ZANG!

Well we hope you enjoyed this brand spanking new issue of Asian A Day. Merry Christmas from all of us at Asian A Day…and we hope you have a very prosperous and Asiany New Year! We’ll leave you with some more sexy photos!…and one hilarious one! Sayounara!

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