Asian A Day Vol:3 Issue:1 “Back in Asian”

A big, massive, Godzilla sized KONNICHIWA to all our loyal, long lost and new Asian A Day readers. It has been a long time indeed since we were all joined in our Asian community but at long last…we are back! Back in Asian to be exact! It has been a long and trechorus path but finally, Asian A Day now has a legal work visa. It took many happy endings and many batches of won ton soup but we have made it. With constant support from our loyal readers and Asian celebrity superstars we were given the green Asian light to work legally in all countries. Immense domo arrigatous to you all. Here are just a few letters of support:

“I had a dream. It was a simple dream. That one day, my daily goings on and Asian goings on would somehow merge together. Then one day…ZANG! It happened. In fact Asian A Day happened. My life was happy, it was goin well. I got a promotion at work and my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Then Asian A Day stopped coming through to my emails. I lost my job, my wife left me for my brother and my baby boy became an hermaphrodite. I need Asian A Day in my life! Please bring it back!” – Brian Rodgers, Editor of The Sun.

“Please bring back Asian A Day…I havn’t been able to masturbate since it was cancelled…and my right hand just doesn’t seem as Asian anymore” – Chris Kamara, footbal pundit and new face of Ladbrokes.

“BRING IT BACK YOU BASTAAAAAAAAARRRDDSSS!!” – Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States of America

Domo aragatos once again to all our loyal fans. And now the moment of truth…everybody hold your breath and hope for all things Asian as you are transported through a wonderful world of zang and Asiany goodness… In this issue of Asian A Day, we meet too hot to handle Asian super model Chae Seon Hwa. Let’s see how her interview went with Asian A Day…

Konnichiwa Chae Seon Hwa! Infinite domo arigatous for allowing Asian A Day to interview you in our very special return issue Asian A Day: Back In Asian!

Konnichiwa Asian A Day…it is no problem at all! It is my greatest honour to be here and be part of your come back issue. For years my father and brothers would gather round the fireplace as my dear old grand ma-ma would read back issues of Asian A Day and oh how they would laugh! Of course, we were so poor back then that we could not afford a computer…we could only afford the internet, which we found out later is useless with out a computer to view it on. So my youngest brother Kim would travel for days to the nearest internet cafe and have the store clerk engrave the entire latest issue of Asian A Day on his chest with a chopstick.

Wow! Now that is a dedicated fan! We hope it was worth the pain!?

He died months after from internal bleeding…but his death was not in vain. We had his body skinned, laminated and put into an A4 ring binder and now we have a home made Asian A Day hard back book with all of the old issues!

We domo arigatou you for  your support! So what have you been up to in the past few months?

Well I have been quite the busy Asian bee! I’ve been modelling, doing tv commercials and I’ve also been acting along side childhood hero Danny Glover in his new film “Lethal Weapon 5: This Time The Black Guy Is Cooler”.  Oh he’s a riot….a laugh riot!! We would have such fun. I would take him on nights out purposely placing him in situations where he would have to say his famous catchphrases!

That sounds too hai-larious…please, go on…

Arigatou, I will. We sat down to play a board game one evening and I had purposely picked buckaroo, clearly a child’s game. Danny took one look at that “Ages 5-11″ sticker on the side of the box and…..”oh man, I’m too old for this shit!” Hehehe (shrill giggle)..classic Danny! Another day we were making lunch in his trailer and he was making a ham and cheese sandwhich. One look at the date on that cheddar and… “man that’s lucky…this cheddar’s only got one day till retirement!” Hehehe (giggles) I love that guy!

Now that IS good wholesome fun that all the Asian A Day family can enjoy! So we take it authentic Jew hater Mel Gibson is not in the new flick?

Ahhh…alas, he is not. I think he had schedule conflict. In fact, the rumour on the Asian street is that he is starring in a new film called “JEWS”. It’s a remake of the classic shark film “JAWS” but this time it’s with 100% less sharks…and 100% more Jews. Looks good!

Well Asian A Day will have to keep our Asian ear to the Asian streets about that film! Many domo arigatous once again Chae. We hope your new movie is of great success. “Lethal Weapon 5: This Time The Black Is Cooler” is out on the 20th December.

Asian Caption Corner! Zang!

“Park Ji Sung had smuggled Michael Owen into English lessons…again”

Think you can come up with a better caption…add it to the comments   at the bottom of the issue and you could be mentioned in the next issue of famous Asian newsletter; Asian A Day and also win a tshirt (still to be printed)!! Zang!

The winner will be picked before the next amazing issue of Asian A Day and will be selected by non other than Paulie’s robot from Rocky 4!

Check out the next issue to see if you’ve won!

Scandinasian Corner! Zang!

This  feature of our newsletter brings to light any Scandinavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandinavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandinavia, we wanna hear about it!

This issue we catch up with professional lover of all things Asian…Owen Wilson! Owen Wilson san has been an Asian lover since his debut role in awesome Asian film “Shangai Noon” when he starred along side Asian legend and all round nice fellow; Jackie Chan. Mr Owen Wilson san was born in Scandinavia but now resides in the hustling bustling city of Hong Kong where he has opened his own public zoo! Like all zoos, people can sponsor and “adopt” an animal by making small donations, however the “Me, You and Dupree” actor had this to say; “The difference with my zoo is that when people make a donation and adopt a tiger or gorilla for example, they actually get to keep the animal! The number of times we’ve had calls with people screaming down the phone that they don’t know what to do with the tiger in their front garden is ridiculous! We had nineteen animal related deaths last year. It’s a pretty serious problem. I think I’m wanted by the authorities for man slaughter.”

Hahaha (Asian laugh)…when will people learn…DO NOT donate to charity! …Zang!

Sneaky Asian Corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. Asian A Day has been on the hunt…on the Asian hunt to be exact and we have the scent of an Asian celebrity hotty in our nostrils. Sniff sniff…sniiiiiiifff. “Fee Fi Fo Fum…I smell the blood of an Asian bathing in Won Ton!”…it’s Asian actress Maggie Q from Sky One HD TV show Nikita!!! (Asian applause)

Maggie Q Top 5 Facts!….

1. Maggie Q’s father was Vietnamese! Zang!

2. Maggie Q’s current ringtone is that song “Boom boom boom! Everybody say way-ooh (way-ooh!)”! Zang!

3. Maggie Q raped and pillaged a small town in Southampton in the early 90′s! Zang!

4. Maggie Q lived in Tom Selleck’s moustache for several months…but had to leave as the rent was too high.

…and finally, fact number 5…

Maggie Q does not breathe. At all. She is actually an artificial life form know as an android and requires no oxygen. When we have all died in years to come…Maggie Q will still walk the planet.

Zang!

Ask Maria Ozawa Corner! Zang!

Hello to my Asian A Day followers, I am soooo excited to be able to help out with anything that you want to ask me and will always give my honest opinion to help you with your problems!

Q- Maria, I’m having some trouble keeping my husband Enrique erect for longer than 5 mins. I mean, I know I haven’t been to the gym much in the last few years but I feel like he is not attracted to me anymore. Can you help!?

M- Well you know us Asian girls have many Sakura tricks kept up our sleeves but thats not to say you can’t Asian yourself up too girlfirend. You could try some stockings and lots of mascara. Also, make sure you squeeze the tip of your husband’s chow trunk extra hard and don;t forget to play with his sweet and sour prawn balls… he’ll tell you when to let go and as we say in Japan… men cum first and last!

Q- Hi Maria, my name’s Rory Cumberland, I’m 19 from Minnesota and I have never been with an Asian girl before. I was wondering if u had any tips to give me so I can catch the Asian girl of my dreams?

M- Well Rory I am shocked! You sound like such a lovely guy and I’m sure it won’t be too long before you get your first taste of kung pao pie! You could try growing a moustache and maybe gettin a circumcision. The ancient scrolls of Siam tell stories of well hung men with handlebar moustaches and dangling half cut mushroom snakes having up to seven Asian wives at once!

What would you do without me?
See you next time
x Maria x

Well we hope you’ve enjoyed our very special come back issue and we know it’s been a while but here at Asian A Day…we promise to never let you down again. Don’t forget to subscribe in the box on the top right of this page to receive all new Asian A Day issues straight to your in box! Please please please show all of your Asian loving friends and add us on face book…just search for Asian-a Day on face book and add us! You’ll get all the latest Asian gossip, news and issues straight to your facebook! It’s as simple as building a massive long wall. Until next loyal subscribers san…
Sayounara

Asian A Day Vol:2 Issue:1 “The Christmas Edition!”

Konnichiwa Asian A Day readers and a special seasons greetings to you all! This special Christmas issue is to of course celebrate the holiest day of the year…the day Santa Clause was born. We have a super special issue lined up with you full of Asian honeys, exclusive interviews and lots and lots of Asian facts! PLUS….we have a sizzling selection of the  hottest Asian Santas! Let’s get on with the issue!

This issue we have an exclusive interview with Asian hotty Tina Yuzuki! Tina has been at the top of the Japanese modelling A-list for many years now and finally, Asian A Day has managed to get a one on one interview with the Japanese beauty…

Konnichiwa Tina Yuzuki sama! Merry Christmas to you! How have you been?

Konnichiwa Asian A Day and Merry Christmas to you and your lovely Asian loving readers! I have been well arigatou, after the terrible Eskimo incident it took some time for me to get back on my feet…but I am much better now.

Woah now…what was this Eskimo incident?! Tell Asian A Day all about it!

In 1969 my father was employed by the Alaskan government to eradicate some of the ever populating Eskimos. My father would hunt and murder Eskimo families to try to kill them before they could reproduce. However, Eskimos are not easy to kill. They are cunning and intelligent. The only way to kill them is by sneaking up on them, knocking them unconscious and then skinning them alive. With out their skin they would freeze in the harsh Alaskan weather. My father would keep and preserve every layer of skin which he took from his victims and when I was born he passed down to me 250 Eskimo skins.

Now that is a lot of skin! So where does the incident come into the equation?

Well when I was 16, I was very poor. I had no education so I turned to stealing but I needed a disguise. I racked my brain and I finally came up with the perfect disguise…it was staring me in the face…my fathers skin collection. I tried on an Eskimo skin for size and it fitted perfectly. I evaded the police for months. They were confused with the Eskimo finger prints I was leaving behind. I finally had to give up my career as a thief when one night I broke into a convenience store and ate so many Cadbury’s Cream Eggs and Monster Munch that I couldn’t take off my Eskimo skin! Finally I had a friend cut me out of the layer with a Stanley knife and I vowed never to steal again.

Wow that truly is an amazing story. What did your father think of you using his skin collection to steal with?

Unfortunately my father is not around anymore. He moved to America when I was younger to fulfill his life long ambition of holding the world record for eating the most Jelly Babies. Unknown to him, it is a scientific fact that if you eat over 600 black Jelly Babies…you become one. He now lives his life as a giant 6ft tall, 18 stone blackcurrant flavoured Jelly Baby and spends his days in a log cabin somewhere in Canada.

Well at least he’ll never go hungry! Too soon? It’s too soon. Well that’s all we have time for today Tina but domo arigatou for taking the time to talk to us…sayounara!

Youth In Asia! Zang!

This segment of our all Asian newsletter sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. Where are they now? What have they been up to? Asian A Day finds out the answers to these burning questions. This issue we catch up with Brandon Soo Hoo who played Tran, the child leader of the Flaming Dragons in Tropic Thunder! Brandon not only acted in Tropic Thunder but he also had invested stocks which sky rocketed after the movie did so well at the box office. Now Brandon is one of the wealthiest child actors in Hollywood, and what did he decide to do with his millions? Well he now lives in one of LA’s largest mansions…but it is built entirely out Ferrero Rocher. The chocolate is not only delicious but also acts as an amazing insulation system in the winter! Zang!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This addition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. Who do we have this issue? Well let’s find out! Behind door number one we have….a satsuma! Behind door number two we have….Barry McGuigan! And finally behind door number 3, we have….Oh my God! It’s Bai Ling who played Li Lei in Entourage season 2, episode 6! Get your hot Asian behind in my cage and let me poke you till you become even hotter!

Bai Ling Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Bai Ling was born in China in 1966! ZANG!
2. Bai Ling enjoys the smell of a chicken and mushroom Pot Noodle…but not the taste. ZANG!
3. Bai Ling is the Stig. ZANG!
4. Bai Ling once had so many friends on facebook…that the internet itself, crashed! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Bai Ling once had a staring contest with someone and she stared so hard that her opponents head actually turned into a Jaffa Cake! ZANG!

Well we hope you enjoyed this brand spanking new issue of Asian A Day. Merry Christmas from all of us at Asian A Day…and we hope you have a very prosperous and Asiany New Year! We’ll leave you with some more sexy photos!…and one hilarious one! Sayounara!

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:13 *The Photo Issue!*

Konichiwa Asian A Day subscribers san! This is a special collector’s issue of Asian A Day! This will be the last issue of Volume 1 and next week we will take the next step into the Asian frontier…Volume 2! Zang. That’s right people san…Asian A Day is one month old! If you would like to see any improvments to our glorious newsletter or have any suggestions then we want to hear about them! Just post something in the comment box or on our facebook page! This issue will officially be our shortest issue ever with only photos of Asian beauties! During this transitional period we will only be able to give you images this issue…but do not fret…Monday’s issue will be back with an Asian bang!!!!

….zang.

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:12 *Maria Ozawa Special Edition!*

Konnichiwa loyal Asian A Day readers san! We trust you a had an Asiany weekend!? Many many Asian apologies for the lack of issues recently but I assure you we are back and better than ever! This issue we have plenty of Asian goodness for you…we have an EXCLUSIVE, long awaited interview with smoking hotty Maria Ozawa! We give thanks to her hotness and have officially made this the “Maria Ozawa Special Edition!” We also have classic Asian A Day sections for you to look forward to! So enough jibber jabbering…let’s get on with the issue!

Konnichiwa Maria Ozawa sama! One thousand domo arigatous to you for this very exclusive interview with Asian A Day!

Douitashimashite Asian A Day. You have already helped my career progress by mentioning me in previous issues…this was the least I could do.

Well Maria, you are one of the worlds most famous and successful Asian adult entertainers…how did you get into the porn industry?

Ah well it’s a verrrry interesting story. I used to be a very timid person, I didn’t like the thought of sex at all. One day I went to my local Blockbusters to rent a VHS to watch with my Friday night curry and I thought I was renting “Ghostbusters” when in fact the clerk had given me the wrong video and I ended up renting “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Womb”. Well I popped that bad boy in expecting to see Bill Murray in overalls, but instead I got a man choking a woman with a whip whilst doing her violently from behind.

*Cough* Well who on Earth would want to watch that?! What did you do next…tell us slowly…

Well to my suprise…I was actually aroused! I really enjoyed the acting and the script that accompanied the film. I rushed straight out to the video store, totally ignoring my lamb madras which was getting cold on the kitchen counter, and I rented “Edward Penishands” and “White Men Can’t Hump”. I watched them both intently and I contacted the directors immediately to see if they would meet with me…and the rest is history!

Wow! So you shot to fame pretty much over night? What did your parents think?

Well I had quite a sheltered childhood. I was home schooled so my only friends were the one’s that I made up. I was not alone though. I would draw faces on pieces of fruit and other foods and they became my friends! I had Walter Watermelon, Orange Fandango, Grahame Grapes and let’s not forget Rumpelstiltskin Spaghetti-Hoops…I miss him most of all. I would steal all the fruit from the kitchen and over the course of a few short years I had an army big enough to rival China’s as they are also renowned for recruiting tinned fruit and other foods into their armed forces. From my bedroom in my house in central Japan, I launched an attack on the Chinese. It was quite a reality check when none of my soldiers actually marched or even moved for that matter…as I later found out…they were actually just bits of fruit. Unfortunately China had already launched several air attacks and both my parents were killed in fruit crossfire. My mother died from a nearby watermelon explosion whilst my father took a passion fruit to the skull and died instantly.

Well that truly is an unbelievable story!

Believe it.

We..we do. Thanks for your time today Maria, be safe and prosperous and have an amazingly Asian New Year!

Domo arigatou. Can I just give a shout out to my number one fan Alan Leehai who has followed my career since I started and domo arigatou Alan for the macaroni art work you sent of us making love on a sea turtles back…arigatou.

Asian Caption Corner! Zang!

“The beef noodles were a little over done…but Fireman Sam didn’t care”

Think you can come up with a better caption…add it to the comments at the bottom of the issue and you could be mentioned in the next issue of Asian A Day and also win a tshirt (still to be printed)!! Zang!

The winner of the last caption competition was….drum roll please….good old Asian A Day! That’s right…none of you pathetic readers could come up with something funnier than us so you lose losers! HAHAHAHA…zang.

Scandinasian Corner! Zang!

This is feature to our newsletter brings to light any Scandinavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandinavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandinavia, we wanna hear about it!

This issue we meet up with Scandinasian in disguise, Renee Zellweger! The Hollywood Scandinavian actress lived in Japan until the age of 9 when she moved to live in America with her parents. Renee Zellweger is so busy with making new movies that she barely has anytime to herself but she tells Asian A Day that she still has time to go endangered seal hunting. “What I like to do is sneak up on the endangered seals when they are not looking and as I hold the crossbow to their heads I make them recite lines from my favourite films. There is nothing sweeter than hearing a seal pup who’s about to die say “I got one day till retirement Riggs. Ahh…I’m too old for this shit” before I unleash an arrow through their eye socket.” …Zang.

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

Usually in this section we remember an Asian hotty that has sneaked off our screens but since this is the Maria Ozawa special edition issue then we have to dedicate this section to her! So here it is folks…five facts you didn’t know about Maria Ozawa!…

Maria Ozawa Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Maria Ozawa was born in Hokkaido in Japan, January 8th 1986! ZANG!
2. Maria Ozawa can down a pint of Calsberg in 1.6 seconds! ZANG!
3. Maria Ozawa can only eat with her hands as she finds it impossible to hold cutlery! ZANG!
4. Maria Ozawa once amazingly landed an airplane full of 150 panicking passengers…but later went on to murder every single one of them! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…

Maria Ozawa once disguised herself as a starving African child just so that when Bono came to help her, she could punch him in the face! ZANG!

Ask Maria Corner! Zang!

This is a brand spanking new section to Asian A Day that gives any Asian A Day reader a chance to ask Maria Ozawa anything they like! Just add your question to the comment section and Maria will get back to you next issue!

Maria, I enjoy choking my girlfriend during sex but she doesn’t seem to enjoy it very much…is there a compromise? Do I have a problem? – Daniel, Alabama

Konnichiwa Daniel san. No there is nothing wrong with you. Being a bit forceful in the bedroom is a good way to show your partner how much they excite you. If your partner doesn’t like this then you could try slipping them some rohypnol before you get to the bedroom. This way, although they are conscious whilst choke them, they are powerless to do anything about it and best yet…they won’t remember a thing. That is what true love is all about. Hope this helps!

Maria Ozawa xxx

Well we hope you enjoyed this very special issue of Asian A Day. Remember if you liked it then when why not spread the word on face book! Change your status or just mention it in passing to several of your friends! Until next time loyal subscribers san…

Sayounara

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:11

Konnichiwa Asian A Day readers san! We trust your weekend was full of Asian fun and many many cookies fortune. This issue we have a very special uniform issue! That’s right…top Asian honeys in non Asian uniforms! We also have an exclusive interview with Kien Shih who played Han, the guy with the claw hand in Enter The Dragon!! So let’s get on with the issue!…

Konnichiwa Kien Shih san! Domo arigatou for taking the time out to give us this exclusive interview!

You are most welcomed Asian A Day…most welcomed indeed. I am currently president of the largest Boyzone appreciation fan club in the world and I love Asian A Day so much, I forward every issue to all 32,000 members.

Zang Kien Shih san! That is excellent news! Tell us, what was it like filming with kung-fu master and all time top Asian; Bruce Lee?

Ahh Bruce. Brucey Bruce. Bruce Man Bruce. The B Man. Spruce The Bruce. We had some good times. During our free time on set, we would often go out and find geese that had laid eggs. Bruce and I would take the eggs, then switch them with chicken’s eggs so that when they finally hatched the geese and chickens didn’t know what was going on! The looks on their faces was all like “Oh no! What is going on? This is not my baby!” Hahaha (shrill yet penetrating laugh)…good times.

No my friend…zang times. You only have one hand, did you find it difficult doing the action scenes in Enter The Dragon?

Well I lost my hand in a freak rollerblading accident when I was very young so I am used to dealing with difficult tasks. Whilst filming there would be a lot of extras on set and during lunch I would often take out the claw attachment and replace it with a spatula and I would cook burgers on a BBQ for them to eat. They called me Little Shihf.

You were stranded on a desert island once weren’t you…tell us about that!?

Oh yes. I was on a boat crossing the Atlantic and we hit a storm. The boat sunk and I was stranded in the ocean. I had to get to land, so, in a final bid for life, I gathered the nearby floating corpses of the dead crew and I used them to float me to shore. It took 4 dead sailors tied together to get me there…but I finally made it. I feasted on their bodies for several weeks…I collected their facial hair shavings and wove them into a Gore-Tex like fabric to protect me from the harsh winds. I finally made it off the island when I realised I was actually on the Isle Of White.

Wow..it’s like “Castaway: The Director’s Cut”. Well thats all we time for today Kien Shih…domo arigatou very much for the interview and we will catch up with you soon! Sayounara!

Name That Raysian! Zang!

That’s right readers…it’s time to play…Name that Raysian! We have disguised a very famous Ray in all Asian attire…can you guess which Ray this is?

Scandinasian Corner! Zang!

This is feature to our newsletter brings to light any Skandanavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandanavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandanavia, we wanna hear about it!

This issue we catch up with very Scandinasian actor…Woody Harrleson! The Cheers star grew up in Scandinavia until the age of 13 when he moved to LA and lived the remainder of his teen years in China Town. There he flourished as an actor and also befriended the Asian community. But the 48 year old actor’s antics don’t stop there…oh no! He has now given up acting and spends his time carving the portraits of local Asian shop owners on bars of soap! Here’s what he had to say on the matter “I like capturing true life moments as they happen and I believe that there is no better media than a carving on a bar of soap. I also love the way Imperial Leather makes my hands feel”. Well you heard it here first folks!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. “Pardon me madam…do you have the time?…wait a second…arn’t you..” “No I am not” “Yes! Yes you are!” “No!” “Yes! You’re Miami Vice star Li Gong! Get your sexy Asian be-hind over here and let me rip your legs off and eat them with processed ham like some sort of massive Dairylee lunchable!”

Li Gong Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Li Gong was born in China in 1965! ZANG!
2. Li Gong can recite the entire 1966 World Cup winning England squad! ZANG!
3. Li Gong doesn’t care much for television. Doesn’t care for it much at all. ZANG!
4. Li Gong once caught an albatross with her bare hands and trained it to say “Welcome to the Gong residence” when answering the telephone! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Li Gong hunts and eats other Asians at night in order to become more Asian! ZANG!

Youth In Asia! Zang!

This segment of our all Asian newsletter sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. Where are they now? What have they been up to? Asian A Day finds out the answers to these burning questions. This issue we catch up with everbodies favourite lost boy…Dante Basco who played Rufio in Hook! Dante was just 16 years old when he played along side human hair ball Robin Williams in Hook. Since then, Dante’s acting has be surpassed by his love for falafel. He started small with one stall in New Yor City and now, 5 years later, he is the largest distributor of falafel in the United States. Fan’s of his falafel include such names as Morgan Freeman, Jet Li (Asian), Elijah Wood and many others. Good luck with the business Dante!

Well that is all we have time for this issue dedicated readers san. Please remember to keep pluggin Asian A Day to your Asian loving friends and family and thank you for your support so far.

If you like this issue…why not subscribe! See the top right of the page and just wait for the email confirmation! Simple as that!

Until next time Asian A Day fans san…sayounara!

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:10

Konnichiwa Asian A Day loyal followers san! We trust that your recent days have been both fruitful and prosperous. What an issue we have for you today….it is our very special issue 10! Omedetou Asian A Day san! Self zang. To celebrate this very special occasion, we are giving you plenty of Asian goodness in the form of Asian honeys, an interview with very Asian famous actor Tzi Ma who of course is most fomous for his role as Chancellor Han in Rush Hour! Not to mention we have all your usual favourite sections including “Scandanasians” and also “Sneaky Asian Corner, oooh look at ‘em sneak”. Lets get stuck in with the issue!

Konnichiwa Tzi Ma san! Domo argiatou for taking the time out of your busy schedule to complete this interview with Asian A Day…we know you are busy filming for Rush Hour 4.

Ah no Asian A Day, the domo arigatou is all mine…after all, you are doing so much for the Asian community that it is only right that I do my part for your newsletter.

You are truly a gentle man Tzi Ma san. Tell us, what was it like working with very Asian famous kung fu master Jackie Chan aswell as Asian lover and maker of loud noises, Chris Tucker?

Chris and Jackie were both very professional. We would work hard and after filming…we would play hard. One lunchtime, on set, Jackie Chan had 14 Japanese prostitutes delivered to his trailer. An hour later…only he and 3 other girls came out…the rest of the trailer was empty. Some say the remaining 11 girls went out of the back exit, some say they went out of the front…but do you know what…I know the truth…Jackie Chan is a wizard and he made those girls disappear!

No way Tzi Ma san…you’s crazy!

It is the truth…I seened it with my own Asian eyes!

Well that is incredible! You are originally from Beijing but you live at quite an incredible address now. Tell us about it…

Haha (high pitched yet manly laugh followed by an intense stare) For many years now, I have lived in the back garden of the White House in Washington DC. When I first moved to America I was just starting out acting and could not afford much. So I became a cleaner at the White House. One day I was cleaning  President Clinton’s bedroom when I stumbled upon a boardgame. It was an old wooden box and when I opened it I swear I could hear the beat of a jungle drum. As I went to roll the dice I heard a voice from behind me scream “DON’T ROLL!”

Who was behind you?! We need to know!

It was the president. He proceded to tell me that over 40 years ago he and his brother had been playing this board game and with the wrong roll of the dice, the game had sprung to life and swollowed his brother and since then he had been stuck in the game. Stuck in the jungle. Stuck in…Jumunji. We had to get his brother out of the game. We spent years rolling the dice and dealing with the consequences but alas…we never found him. But President Clinton thanked me for my troubles by building me a giant sand castle to live in. It came equipped with a George Fornman grill, satellite TV and moat…every thing a China man needs for life in America.

Wow..that is a truly amazing story. Asian A Day wishes we had more time but we’ll have to leave it at that Tzi Ma san. Sayounara!

Asian Caption Corner! Zang!

“Life was hard for the human wheel barrow”

Think you can come up with a better caption…add it to the comments at the bottom of the issue and you could be mentioned in the next issue of Asian A Day and also win a tshirt (still to be printed)!! Zang!

Many omedetou to winner of last issues caption competiton Paul Stigah san! Many applause and bows to you for your hai-larious caption.

Scandanaisa! Zang!

This is feature to our newsletter brings to light any Skandanavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandanavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandanavia, we wanna hear about it!

This issue we catch up with undercover Scandanavian and Entourage star Gary Busey! Gary was born and raised in Oklahoma but had Scandanavian grandparents. But what makes Gary Busey ScandanASIAN  you ask? Well not many people know this but Gary Busey owns and operates the largest sperm donation bank in Japan! Gary Busey donates every drop of sperm himself so that couples get the chance to have a little part of the Lethal Weapon actor in their lives forever! “Busey’s Baby Bank” has been open since July 2003 and since then has helped more than 10,000 infertile couples give birth. Busey’s Baby Bank is a non-profit organisation but there is one term which couples must adhere to when receiving Busey’s sperm. Every child born must be named one of three names; Gary, Busey or Gary Busey. Now that’s a zang fact!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. “Calling all cars. Calling all cars. Be on the look out for a smoking hot Asian chick” “This is car 54…I think we got her” It’s non other than sexy Asian milf Ming-Na Wen who of course played Chun-Li in the original Street Fighter in 1995! She thought she could escape from out clutches but we beat her to an Asian pulp and collected her hottness like an extremely rare Charizard Pokemon card. She is now property of Asian A Day.

Ming-Na Wen Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Ming-Na was born on an island just off the coast of Hong Kong in November 1963! ZANG!
2. Ming-Na has a tattoo of the entire Dominos pizza menu on her back..including discount offers! ZANG!
3. Ming-Na Wen assassinated Abraham Lincoln! ZANG!
4. Ming-Na Wen once beat Lenox Lewis in an arm wrestle but later went on to braid his hair so that he wouldn’t feel upset! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Ming-Na Wen once took some magic mushrooms…blacked out and when she woke, she found that she had shredded the face off her pet german sheperd with a cheese grater! ZANG!

Asian A Day Actor Street Fight: Back to the Streets! Zang!

Ever pondered life’s greatest mysteries? Ever questioned reality? Then this is the section for you! Here we answer life’s greatest question…who would win in a fight…Ken Jeong who played Leslie Chow in Hollywood film “The Hangover” or Chan Tai who played the POW camp officer who keeps slapping Robert Deniro and yelling “Maow!” in the film “The Deer Hunter”! We catch up with the fighters in the AAD Trapezoid cage…

Fighters Ready! Fists ready! HAII!

Both fighters circle each other cautiously…never breaking eye conta…Ken Jeong attacks first with a scissor kick out of nowhere that hits Chan Tai in the side of the head! Tai recovers quickly and gets back on his feet. Jeong strikes with a low sweeping leg kick but Tai anticipates and flips over crouched Jeong and hits back with a hard side kick to the back of Jeong’s head! He drops to the floor and pummles Ken Jeong in the ribs with a flurry of punches! Jeong is blocking…it doesn’t look like there’s anyway he can escape thi…OH and he’s flipped the Deer Hunter actor! Both actors roll away from each other. Jeong runs at Tai and attacks with a flurry of kicks to the upper body and OOOHH! He catches Tai cleanly in the stomach. Tai does a backwards roll…Jeong moves quickly towards him…Tai gets to his feet…a golden glow seems to be growing in the palm of his hand…”MMMAAAOOOOWWW!!” Woah!!!!! Chan Tai lands a monster open handed Maow Slap right across Ken Jeong’s chest! Jeong is out for the count!

KO

Well we hope you enjoyed issue 10 of Asian A Day..remember, if you enjoy reading Asian A Day, why not spread the Asian word and tell an Asian loving friend! Let’s expand our Asian A Day family and spread the Asian love! If you liked any of the Asian hotties in today’s issue and want to know who they are…all you need to do is ask!

Remember to subscribe to Asian A Day if you havn’t already! It’s easy! At the top right of the page type in your email and then when you get a confirmation email sent to you..simply click confirm! Then you will receive brand new Asian A Day’s straight to your inbox and your life will be complete.

Until next time…Sayounara!

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:9

Konnichiwa loyal and honourable subscribers san! Welcome to issue 9 of the legendary Asian A Day! A giant domo arigatou to all our friends on the machine they call facebook..we at Asian A Day look forward to seeing all your pictures of you doing Asian activities and also all your Asian captions for the caption competition. Some of them have been most zang. Most zang. This issue we have an EXCLUSIVE interview with Japanese model Jun Natsukawa! Jun has been modelling for many years now and has been the spokesperson for Japanese Dairylea Triangles since January 2008! Here’s what she had to say to Asian A Day…

Konnichiwa Jun Natsukawa! Infinite domo arigatous to you for taking the time out and talking with us.

Konnichiwa Asian A day! Domo arigatou very much for having me featured in your amazing newsletter. I have every issue stacked up as high as a mountain in my closet at home. Sometimes I enjoy to make a fort out of them and pretend I am a medieval ninja defending my Asian A Day castle from oncoming dragons.

Kakkoii! We do that too in the Asian A Day office! So tell us Jun, what do you like doing in your spare time?

Well I enjoy my modelling very much and that takes up a lot of my time. Sometimes though, when I am bored, I like to draw an upside down face on my stomach in marker pen so that when I lift up my top and look down it is like someone is always smiling up at me.

Sounds like it can get a bit lonely when you’re on a photo shoot?

Yes. Yes it can.  I often go down to the beach if I am on the coast and I collect star fish and dead seahorses and I take them back to my house and set up a tea party where all of my sea creature friends are invited! There’s Mr Starfishworth, Clive Crabtail and also Pedro the angry Mexican octopus..we have a ball!

Riiiight. That sounds like quite an eventful time. Tell us about the time you were in London on a modelling shoot and your run in with the law?! Is this true?

Hehehe (giggles) It is true. I was in London last year and I was very bored on my own in a hotel room…so I did what any girl does when she is on her own and bored. I ordered some jaffa cake minis to the room and decided to set fire to the packaging! Little did I know that the packaging of these delicious mini treats is extremely flammable and the room went up like a bonfire. I was lucky to get out of there alive. Unfortunately, several paraplegics in the next room were unable to get out in time and died in an explosion of hotel furniture and jaffa cakes. It was horrific. The police made inquiries but never found any substantial evidence to link me to it.

Well on that not we’ll have to leave it at that Jun! Domo arigatou for your time and we’ll see you soon! Sayounara

Asian Caption Corner! Zang!

“He forgot his Golf Sale sign at home…big mistake”

Think you can come up with a better caption…add it to the comments at the bottom of the issue and you could be mentioned in the next issue of Asian A Day and also win a tshirt (still to be printed)!! Zang!

Winner of the last caption competition…traditional Asian A Day reader Alan Leehai san! Omedetou Alan san and domo arigatou for your support and short but sweet caption!

Youth In Asia! Zang!

This segment of our all Asian newsletter sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. Where are they now? What have they been up to? Asian A Day finds out the answers to these burning questions. This issue we remember Rush Hour starlet Julia Hsu who played Soo Yung in Rush Hour! In Rush Hour, Julia’s character is kidnapped and Jackie Chan spends the entire film trying to find her! Intensely zang! Warning…spoiler alert: he finds her. Now days, Julia has given up acting and currently lives in LA with aged musician Madonna. She lives there against her will and is forced to work in Madonna’s private sweat shop where she continuously makes beanie hats for the ancient, almost dead celebrity. Upsetting child labour zang.

Asian A Day Actor Street Fight: Back to the Streets! Zang!

Ever pondered life’s greatest mysteries? Ever questioned reality? Then this is the section for you! Here we answer life’s greatest question…who would win in a fight…Mr Miyagi or Samo Law! Let’s find out! We catch up with the fighters in the AAD Trapezoid cage…

Fighters Ready! Fists ready! HAII!

Samo Law comes in hard and fast with a spinning heel kick directed at Miyagi’s face but Miyagi blocks expertly! But that doesn’t stop Samo! He answers back with a flurry of punches and upper cuts all blocked and dodged by the Karate Kid star! Mr Miyagi retaliates with a roundhouse to Samo’s face! The tubby Martial Law actor goes down in a heap, Miyagi launches into the air and comes down hard on Samo Law’s ribs!…NO! Law rolls out of the way just in time! Both fighters are circling cautiously, Samo Law looks in pain, who will be the first to…Miyagi attacks Law with a number of kicks but Law blocks, spins and..what a punch straight to Miyagi’s chest! Miyagi goes flying several feet across the Trapezoid! Law goes steaming towards Miyagi…Miyagi rolls backwards and instantly into crane stance…and….”HAAADOUKEN!” Samo Law goes flying towards the cage wall, unconscious after being hit with an hadouken out of nowhere by Mr Miyagi!

KO!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This addition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. This issue we got a tip off from a caption competition winner and loyal subscriber san. “Konnichiwa? Asian A Day” “Konnichiwa..I have a tip-off on a sneaky Asian hotty trying to escape underneath your Asian hotty radar” “Nani! Fax me the details…stat!” We received the fax, and it was none other than Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger…the yellow ranger..Trish Thuy Trang! Look at her trying to morph into some sort of robotic Triceratops and run away…you will NEVER escape Asian A Day! NEVER!!!!

Trish Thuy Trang Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Trish Trang was born in Saigon in 1973! ZANG!
2. Trish Trang could open a can of beans with the shear force of a fart! ZANG!
3. Trish Trang enjoyed the smell of burning so much, she would often set her own friend’s faces a light with gasoline just to get the aroma! ZANG!
4. Trish Trang co wrote and starred in Platoon! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Trish Trang once spent an entire month walking only on her hands! ZANG!

Sadly, Trish Trang died in a tragic car accident in 2001. We will always remember her role as the iconic yellow ranger.

Well that’s all the Asian we have for today but we hoped you enjoyed the issue! Remember to leave a caption comment at the bottom of the page for a chance to win the competition and if you liked this issue…why not let us know or join our face book group! Simply search Asian A Day and you can join the ever growin Asian A Day family san!

As soon as we hit 50 members on the Asian A Day facebook group…we will hold a mass Asian A Day appreciation night out in London…so come on…keep the dream alive! Zang

Sayounara!

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue: 8

Konnichiwa loyal Asian A Day subscribers! A big domo arigatou to every one who has subscribed to the newsletter and also to everyone who has joined our facebook page! We really appreciate the support and we couldn’t do it without you. Now, back to the issue! Ooh what an Asiany issue we have for you today…jam packed with Asian honeys, sneaky Asian actors and of course Scandinasians! Zangatang.

This issue we catch up with Japanese beauty Eri Kamei! Eri has been on the modelling scene since she was 16 and now wishes to pursue a career in acting! Lets read on!

Konnichiwa Eri! Domo arigatou for taking the time to talk to us and being part of this interview.

Konnichiwa Asian A Day! I am long time reader, first time speaker in your newsletter…but I hope to return in the future much like an STD that will not go away.

You are more than welcome to return to us Eri sama! Tell us, how did you first start modelling?

Ahh quite a story I have. I had a poor up bringing. My family was not wealthy and I had little to no education. However, one day I found out a secret that was to change the rest of my life. The man who had been living with us and sitting in the same arm chair for so many years, was not actually my biological father, he turned out to be  just a paper mache figure my mother had made so that I would not feel abandoned. My real father was actually and American who had visited Japan a long time ago but was now living back in his own country. So I went to America to find him.

Masaka! So did you find the American gentleman in the end?

Hai. I found him indeed. I employed a private detective and he found him within days. My father was none other than Hollywood actor Kevin Costner! For years I had a Water World poster on my bedroom wall. From then on it was plain sailing. He introduced me into the modelling world and now I send money home every month with no problems.

Kakkoii! That is an amazing story Eri. We hear that you are very environmentally friendly and have a unique way of transporting yourself around town?

Hehehe (giggles) yes I love mother Earth and I refuse to have a carbon footprint so I never travel in a car or on a bus. When I lived near the beach I came across two sea turtles that were about to be killed by a gang of surfers but I scared the surfers away by using an old trick which I saw Obi Wan Kenobi use in Star Wars: A New Hope. This worked well but I had to hurry the turtles to safety “the surfers scare easily, but they will return. And in greater numbers” I said to them. When we were safe the turtles thanked me and thus pledged their eternal devotion to me, which of course, is the turtle code. Years later, true to their word, they serve as my transport. I have one strapped to each of my feet and that is how I get around. Their names are Bernard and Francois.

Now that’s zangtastic! Well domo arigatou very much Eri! Sayounara! Check out Eri Kamei and Kevin Costner’s new film “Water World: The Drought” in cinemas world wide on 5th December!

Asian Joke Corner! Zang!

A woman was wondering why she hadn’t had sex in 5 months.

So her friend told her to go and see a Chinese sex doctor.

When she got there he told here to take off all her clothes and crawl to the other end of the room and back.

As she was crawling back towards the doctor, he said “Oh yes… I see the problem now”

“What is it?”, replied the woman.

“Your face look like your ass” said the doctor.

Asian Caption Corner! Zang!

“All this because he told him Leonardo DiCaprio dies at the end of Titanic…”

Think you can come up with a better caption…add it to the comments at the bottom of the issue and you could be mentioned in the next issue of Asian A Day and also win a tshirt (still to be printed)!! Zang!

Winner of the last caption competition…good old Patrick Heekin san! Omedetou Patrick san and domo arigatou for your support!

Scandinasia! Zang!

In this section of  our newsletter, we bring to light any Scandinavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandinavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandinavia, we wanna hear about it! Let us know what you miss about home, what the differences are or when you’re going home…whatever it is..we want to know!

In this issue we catch up with Hollywood legend and Blind Fury actor Rutger Hauer san! Rutger is 100%  Scandanavianish but he currently resides in the high Osaka mountains in Japan. There, he spends his days by reliving Blind Fury scenes by trying to hunt salmon blindfolded. Doctor’s say that he has slow forming dementia and is clinically insane. One Japanese doctor had this to say; “He lost bloody marble!” Zang, zang, zang (said shaking Asian A Day’s head),we pity you Rutger Hauer san…but you bloody crazy!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. Hey! HEY! Asian A Day sees you hiding there! Come out from behind that large man! Who…who is that? Oh hello Crystal Liu who starred in Kingdon of Heaven with Jet Li and Jackie Chan! What are you doing sneaking around here! Get your sexy Asian butt in the van so I can take you to the island so you can run and be free with all the other sneaky Asian hotties!

Crystal Liu Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Crystal Liu was born in the Hubei province in China in 1987! ZANG!
2. Crystal Liu is a world champion dart player and beat Phil Taylor in 2008! ZANG!
3. Crystal Liu invented pasta! Fact! ZANG!
4. Crystal is player manager for Bristol City Football Club! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Crystal Liu can hit a hole in one from 300 yards! ZANG!

Well we hope you enjoyed this issue of Asian A Day. Many arigatous to every one who is involved and associated with Asian A Day. We really couldn’t do this without your support.  If you like our newsletter, why not leave a comment or subscibe your friends and family! Definately join our facebook page and why not send us a picture of you doing something Asian or reading Asian A Day! You could end up on our facebook page or even in an issue!

We will soon be holding an Asian A Day event in London for all our loyal subscribers san! Add us on facebook or join our Asian A Day group to keep updated on our Asian events!

Sayounara!

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:7

Konnichiwa loyal subscribers san! This is our first blog only newsletter! Zangatang! We are all very excited and cannot wait to begin this long and fruitful life of Asian A Day.

A few changes that I assure you are for the Asian greater good. We will no longer be a daily newsletter…instead, a brand spanking Asian full issue will be winging its way to you every Monday and Friday and if that wasn’t enough to quench your Asian thirst we’ll be sending you a suprise Wednesday edition to keep you going…but only when you least expect it. Like a dark ninja, Asian A Day will creep into your inbox while you sleep, ready to attack when you wake… HIIIEEEEYAA!! You’ll also get special holiday issues to brighten your weeks up! We now have more subscibers than ever which is great news! This issue is over flowing with Oriental goodness…so lets get cracking with the issue!

In todays issue we catch up with Taiwanese beauty Wang Si Ping! In this exclusive debut interview Wang Si talks to us about her charity work, secret power and also her already budding career! Read on for more…

Konnichiwa Wang Si! Domo arigatou for taking the time out to talk to us.

Konnichiwa Asian A Day! No no no…domo arigatou to you for giving me this opportunity to express myself in this interview. I have been a longtime reader of your magnificent newsletter.

Well arigatou Wang Si! We have heard a rumour that you had a small identity crisis when you were a child. Can you tell us more?

Yes. I can talk about this stage in my life freely now as it is truly behind me. From the age of four to the start of my teens I assumed the lifestyle of a small rodent. I would live in a hedge during the day and at night I would venture out and skavenge for nuts and other foods. As I grew larger I developed a taste for meat and my parents would often catch me with my face in a bin searching for chicken kiev. But I am fully over this now.

That’s quite a story! So how did you get into modelling Wang Si?

I didn’t always have passion for being a model. My true passion lies with brick laying. The feel of cement between your fingers, the tea breaks, the banter with your peers…that’s the life for me. My father was involved in the construction industry so I guess it was in my genes!

Outstanding! So when you’re not travelling to modelling shoots what do you like to do in your spare time?

I have a small secret…I have quite a serious foot fetish. Not only do I sketch feet in my big notepad shaped like a foot but I also try and steal shoes. I have an excellent method for this. Outside my house I have littered the streets with dog faeces. I sit and wait and when a pedestrian walks by and treads in it they are always like “Oh nooo…I tread in dog pooo”…and I come rushing out and say “Oh noooo, you did tread in dog poo” and thenI offer to clean their shoes up but when I go inside with their shoes I quickly close the door behind me and then I have their pooey shoe forever! When I come out and they are still there I claim to have never seen them before and then call them crazy for not having shoes on. The perfect crime.

That IS the perfect crime…you know…if you were into stealing shoes. Well that’s all we have time for today Wang Si. Domo arigatou for taking the time out to talk to us and sayounara!

Asian Joke Corner! Zang!

While in China , a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, ‘I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.’

The man looks a little perplexed and says, ‘Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.’

The doctor answers, ‘I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.’

The man screams in horror, ‘Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.’

The doctor replies, ‘Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.’

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, ‘Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.’

The guy says to the doctor, ‘Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!’

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. ‘Stupid American Docttah, always want to opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!’

‘Oh, Thank God!’ the man replies.

‘Yes,’ says the Chinese doctor, ‘wait two weeks. Fall off by itself!’

Asian News Corner! Zang!

This is Yu Zhenhuan…he is China’s hairiest man…he’s the one on the right…and that’s his girlfriend on the left.

 

 

 

 

Youth’s In Asia! Zang!

This brand new addition to our all Asian newsletter had such a good response last issue that we just had to do another one. This segment sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. Today we remember Ernest Liu who of course played the part of Scott Fuller in ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’. The film was shot in 1996 and was Ernest’s first major production. Ernest Liu now resides in South America and is a notorious drug lord. He has murdered hundreds of people and ruined thousands of lives but he says “acting is still a passion of mine…I love it! Whenever I kill someone I always put on a crazy french accent and pretend I am Leon”.

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. This issue proved to be tricky…she was hiding expertly…but Asian A Day found that sneaky sneaky lady! She was dressed as a giant sunflower and hiding in a meadow…but we put out some trifle and she came a running (Asian’s love trifle). Its Devon Aoki! Your love for trifle gave you away much like Lil’ Bow Wow gave his anal virginity away to his driver.

Devon Aoki Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Devon Aoki is of Japanese decent! ZANG!
2. Devon’s father was an Olympic wrestler! ZANG!
3. Devon was born with the wrong feet on each leg but under went surgery to correct this! ZANG!
4. Devon Aoki was once carried away by a giant eagle and was placed gently ontop of a small mountain! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Devon Aoki can look at any number of rice crispies in a bowl and instantly know how many there are! ZANG!

And there we have it, 5 facts youmay or may not have known about Devon Aoki!

Japanese Dictionary! Zang!

Ushi wa kasa o kuu= The cow eats grass
Shikaku o seikaku ni kaku= I draw the square accurately
Kitanai! = You dirtbag!
Kitchigai! = You’re crazy!

Well there we have it beloved readers san…that completes our issue shichi (7). We’ll catch up with you on Friday and don’t forget to add us on facebook and leave us comments so we know what you think and what you want to see in your Asian A Day!

Sayounara

Asian A Day Vol:1 Issue:6

Konnichiwa subscribers san!

This is the LAST issue of Asian A Day…on email I mean! We now have a Blog! That’s right lovely readers…we are moving up in this crazy Asian world! Not only do we have a blog but we now have a facebook profile! Why not add Asian-a Day as your friend and shout your Asian love from the rooftops! Zangalicious! Also, you will have to subscribe through the blog as you won’t be receiving emails from me direct anymore…it’s all gone rather official.

To celebrate all this step in technology we are giving you extra futuristic pictures and also extra whacky invention news! This issue, we caught up with hot THAI girl band, Girly Berry member; Gybzy…

Sawadee kaap Gybzy! De chai duai krub on becomming the face of the new futuristic launch of Asian A Day!
Ahh kaapoon kaa! It has been my dream for long time to be involved with Asian A Day. I love the sneaky Asian corner..it is my all time favourite.

Haha (manly laugh)..why kaapoon kaap Gybzy! Tell us, how did you get involved in singing in a girl band?
Everyone have story. I too have story. When I was younger I could not speak any language. Not even Thai. But I learnt to speak English by watching Police Academy movies and listening to Art Attack episodes on audio cassette…Neil Buchanan is something of a legend in Thailand. From there I learnt to sing and I joined a girl band but we needed a member who could speak English…and there you have it! Zang!..as you say (giggles) hehehe.

Zang indeed! We heard a rumour about a certain nickname you had when you were living on the streets…
Yes is was Gybzy the Gipsy. It was not a particularly nice time in my life. I had to fend for myself. The reason I was nicknamed the Gipsy is that I served a short amount of time as an amateur Thai boxer and after I had knocked my opponent unconcious I would steal not only their money but also their teeth. I like to use them as tiny sand castles when I play with my Lego sets you see. They are the perfect size.

Oh Gybzy! You could be a…Thai-ny bit crazy! Well that’s all we have time for today but thank you to Gybzy for her insightful interview! The new Girly Berry single “Your Teeth Are My Own” is due to be released 20th December.

Asian Joke & Humour Corner! Zang!

An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were sitting naked in the sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

“That’s my pager,” he said, “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.When he finished he explained, “That’s my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

The Chinese felt low-tech and inferior. He didn’t know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet. When he returned, he didn’t realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his ass.

The others raised their eyebrows and said, “Wow! What’s that?”

The Chinese explained, “I’m getting a FAX.”

Asian News Corner! Zang!

Japanese airline asks fliers to flush first!

TOKYO (AFP) – A Japanese airline is taking its weight-saving efforts to new heights, asking passengers on some of its flights to visit the restroom before flying.
The unusual request is one of a number of measures being tried out by All Nippon Airways (ANA) to reduce fuel consumption.
ANA estimates that if half its passengers went to the bathroom before boarding, it could reduce its carbon dioxide emissions by 4.2 tons a month, said company spokeswoman Megumi Tezuka.
The airline will also recycle paper cups and plastic bottles, and use chopsticks produced from wood from forest thinning projects, as part of its efforts to become more environmentally friendly.
The move follows earlier steps by airlines to reduce the weight of flights by trimming the size of in-flight magazines, slimming the handles of forks and spoons and using lighter drink trolleys and porcelain.
It is not the only airline looking to the lavatory to save money. Irish budget airline Ryanair has previously said it is considering charging passengers to use on-board toilets.

Youths in Asia! Zang!

This brand new addition to our all Asian newsletter sheds light on forgotten Asian Hollywood child actors. This week we concentrate on Jonathan Ke Quan who played Short Round in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” and of course also Richard “Data” Wang in the 1985 hit film “The Goonies”. Jonathan was aged 13 when he starred in these two blockbusters but contracted an illness shortly after which would mean he would never age. 24 years later, Jonathan is still 13 years old and lives with his parents in LA.

Scandanasia! Zang!

This is our feature to our newsletter that brings to light any Skandanavians living in Asia…or vice versa. If you’re a Scandanavian living in Asia or an Asian living in Scandanavia, we wanna hear about it! Let us know what you miss about home, what the differences or when you’re going home…whatever it is..we want to know!

This issue we meet up with undercover Scandanavian, Wesley Snipes! Not many people will realise this but Wesley’s mother was not only born in Scandanavia but his father was also! Wesley now lives in the hustling bustling city of Bankok where he has taken to painting portraits of Woody Harrelson completely from memory. But don’t let the unusalness of his painting fool you…some of Wesley’s paintings are rumoured tohave sold for more than $500,000! Now if that’s not something to Zang about, I don’t know what is!

Sneaky Asian corner…oooooh, look at ‘em sneak!

This edition to Asian A Day newsletter commits itself to finding forgotten Asian hotties in movies and TV shows. Who will try to sneak past us this issue? Who could it be….ah HA! It is you Kristin Kreuk! You tried to hide but you could not because Asian A Day has unique XRay goggles specially made for seeing through rocks…and that is where you were hiding…behind a giant rock. Crazy crazy Kristin Kreuk.

Kristin Kreuk Profile…Top 5 Facts!

1. Kristin Kreuk was born in Vancouver, Canada but her mother is part Japanese! ZANG!
2. Kristin Kreuk once owned the deeds to the White House…but she lost it on a river boat gambling trip! ZANG!
3. Kristin Kreuk enjoys ketchup! ZANG!
4. Kristin once watched the movie “My Cousin Vinny” 37 times in a row…and she still doesn’t know who Joe Pesci is! ZANG!

…and finally, fact number 5…
Kristin Kreuk can morph into the body of an eagle when ever she likes! ZANG!

Proof in Asia! ZANG!

A new edition to our newsletter. There has be much debating on whether or not Asia actualy exsists…well we have the answer. Yes. Yes it does. It exsists in all of us. It exsists in the hearts of each and every subscriber of Asian A Day. Let us not forget that everytime you watch a Rush Hour movie, play your Gameboy or eat a pot noodle…your loving a little bit of Asia…and Asia is loving a little bit you.

We know Asians like to take photos…but why the crouching tiger stance?

Japanese Dictionary:

Watashi wa chuugokujin dewa arimasen = I am not Chinese
Yowa-mushi! = Weakling!
Kono-yaroo! = You dog!
Kingyo ga oyogu = The gold fish swim
Watashi wa nakushita kii o mitsuketa = I found the keys I lost

Now for the Asian competion of the week! You must come up with an hilarious Asian caption for a picture…but the only way to see the picture is to log on to the Asian A Day blog! The winner will get a congratulatory mention at the end of the week and also an exclusive Asian A Day tshirt! (still to be printed) Plus!…an extra prize will go to whoever can find the most hilarious Asian photo! Add us on facebook to leave your caption in the photos section…or just comment on the blog! It’s that simple!

Well that’s the end of this issue and also the last email you will receive. As the Thai say…up too yoouu! You must now subscibe to the Asian A Day blog at www.asianaday.wordpress.com and the blog will come straight to you! Plus..don’t forget to join us on our Asian A Day facebook profile…just search asianaday@hotmail.co.uk.

Domo arigatou for all your support so far and we want to see all your feedback on the blog comments area and on the facebook page.

Sayounara!